www.babyblues.com

I love this comic strip! For more Baby Blues comics, visit www.babyblues.com

It got me thinking about my social experience during school. The social complexity of high-school hallways is frightening – and as far as I can tell that complexity is starting much, much younger. A friend of mine’s daughter explained it me like this. School is like the royal court during the time of Henry the Eighth. You have the king and the queen, who are obviously at the top, then you have extremely high ranking nobles, then you have the ladies in waiting, then you have the merchants, then you have the farmers and lower class citizens – and then finally at the bottom you have the plebs. Please keep in mind that she was 11 years old when she explained this to me…11.

When I was in the midst of this social nightmare I swore to myself that when I had a child I would do everything in my power to make sure that my kid was popular. I would buy her the right clothes, make friends with the right parents, etc… That is how important it all seemed at the time. But guess what? I don’t feel that way anymore. The most popular kids from my school days seem to me to be the most unhappy in adulthood. The least popular are successful, independent and confident.

Now I’m not sure I have a role in any of this for my daughter. What do you think? How do you prepare your daughter for the mean girls, the cliques, the feeling that the world is going to end when your friends decide not to speak to you anymore?

And while you’re at it give me some tips for the conference

*Photo from www.HugYourBaby.Org*

If I had my Child to Raise Over Again

Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise over again
I’d build self-esteem first and the house later
I’d finger paint more and point the finger less
I would do less correcting and more connecting
I’d take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes
I would care to know less and know to care more
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites
I’d stop playing serious and seriously play
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars
I’d do more hugging and less tugging
I’d see the oak tree in the acorn more often
I would be firm less often and affirm much more
I’d model less about the love of power
And more about the power of love.

Who cares about the rain???

For more Wordless Wednesday fun, visit 5 Minutes for Mom.

Knowing that I have to re-fold all of the stuff I have messed up nags at me. But look what my Dad sent me! I couldn’t stop watching it. As soon as work is over I am eager to get to that laundry basket and put this strategy to the test. Have you tried it?

Click This link to learn how to fold a shirt!

This is a photo of my little girl.  When I saw this photo for the first time I gasped out loud… she isn’t so little anymore.  Isn’t it funny how the photo of your children that you carry in your mind is always about 2 years behind the reality.

It’s summer-time now and every summer Emily takes off on some travel adventure or another.  This year she is visiting family in Kansas City, upstate New York and finally my Parents in PA before we pick her up in New York in early August to bring her home again.  She has been gone for less than a week and already I wake every morning with that tug of yearning at my sternum.  I miss her so much when she is gone.  But – my little girl has a streak of independence so fierce that it carries her through situations that would have me on my knees weeping  I remember when my own Mother went back to work when I was in my teens and at 15 I would come home from school and immediately pick up the phone and call her in her office to find out what time she would be home.  When was the last time Emily called me since she left?  Ummmm… she hasn’t.  She has sent me some lovely emails…

Do I think that Emily misses me?  Yes.  Do I think that Emily feels as though she can’t get by without me?  Thank goodness, No.

Every day I resist the urge to call her several times and tell her how much I miss her – how that tug at my sternum bothers me constantly.  But I don’t and I won’t.  I am proud that my daughter forges ahead on these grand adventures without me holding her hand.  I always remember I am giving her the gift of independence.

Do your kids travel without you?  How do you deal with the separation?

Emily is very good at remembering her chores, so we don’t keep any kind of regular chore chart. But she has a school trip this year that she expected to contribute towards, so I went hunting for something to track her “trip points”. I found this very cool website filled with free downloadable chore charts. Surprise, surprise, Emily picked the Kitty one featured above – but they have everything from princesses to sports to teddy bears!

We’d love to hear your views on chores. How are they handled in your household? Do your kids have chores? Are they tied to their allowances?

We spend a lot of time talking to Emily about finances and the importance of living within your means and given the state of the economy, it doesn’t hurt to think seriously about frugality. We discovered an article on Extreme Ways to Save. Hmmm… now lets not go crazy. Keeping your eye on the pennies and ignoring the big picture is often a big mistake. But lets see what they say:

Turn your car off – while its moving
Ummm… no. Not only do I think this is extremely dangerous, but I am about as coordinated as a tap-dancing giraffe. I can only see smoke, fire and broken engines.

Reuse plastic sandwich bags
Although I actually laughed out loud at my frugal husband when I caught him doing this, I will admit that it is definitely environmentally friendly. Its worth the hassle for the environment. Worth the hassle for $30 a year? What do you think?

Stop saving money
I think the article needs to be MUCH clearer on this one. If you read carefully, there is a tiny mention of not saving so you can avoid credit cards… Ok – I agree with that one. No one wants to be earning 3% on their savings in the bank while spending 20% on credit card interest. This article though, seems to be giving carte blanche not to save “if you cant afford it”. Everyone can afford to save something even if it is only $1. I think saving is a discipline and once you get out of the habit, it is easy to let go.

Make your own cleaning supplies
This one seems simple enough and a good money saving piece of advice. Who needs a $12 bottle of pine sol if vinegar really works just as well?

Stop drinking soda (or another beverage of choice)
Excellent piece of advice. Soda is full of sugar and a ton of empty calories. Its expensive! Once its gone, I’ll bet you wont miss it and neither will your kids. Id like to add bottled water to this tip. There’s nothing wrong with water out of the tap – in fact, most bottled water is tap water anyway!

Move back home with your parents, at any age
Ummm… No. Do I need to elaborate?

Get rid of your carpet
This one made me scratch my head a bit. Get rid of your carpet and do what? Have a concrete floor? It would take an awful long time for $200 a year to pay back the investment of a couple of thousand dollars in tiles or hardwood.

Hold a no-spend month
Very interesting concept. I am off to read about it on Small Notebook and would love to hear from anyone who has tried it.

Anyone have something to suggest?

Meet Chubby, my 7-month old Shih-Tzu.

For more Wordless Wednesday fun, visit 5 Minutes for Mom.